April 2, 2026
this post and its follow up were influenced greatly by j cole (titles of course) and this post from kylee of ‘plum pits’.
on social media and the internet, we see the idea of “falling off” typically applied to athletes and artists who seemingly have lost their edge. for these highly visible individuals, any perceived loss of skill or ability seems to immediately prompt rumors of the ever-dreaded fall off.
of course we can acknowledge that the reactionary calls of social media commentators are often not a real indicator that anything has changed. context is not something our society seems to do well with, and it can often create the perception of losing skill.
but its also foolish to pretend.
we can’t deny the athlete who can’t jump quite as high as he used to. the singer whose voice can no longer hit the same notes. and in the lives of us common folk, the hairs graying, the wrinkles starting to show, and the feeling at the back of our minds that we are not who we once were.
as i observe the cultural discourse around me i think it is a fairly safe claim to say that our generation is inheriting a fear of the fall off stronger than those who came before us. we live in the era of looksmaxxing, peptides, and relentless “self-optimization” with names like “clavicular” and bryan johnson rising to prominence. it goes beyond simply physical appearances though.
it seems contradictory, but the hedonistic lifestyles of looksmaxxers and the almost monk-like “anti-degeneracy” movement to me both come from the same source: fear. there are those going to any means possible to look as good as they can in order to create a life of partying, hookups, and “fun” that seems to align with a jaded vision of what youth should be. on the contrary there are the 9 pm bedtimers who insist on their lifestyle choices being the only way to “make sure i look great when i’m 50”, seemingly in an effort to prolong the feeling of youth itself.
but what do they see as the alternative?
talking about people like this has often felt like discussing a species for me, but part of what motivated me to write this has been a realization that i’m not as different from them as i would like to believe, and i think this might hold true for those reading this as well.
i think what these people are chasing, what i think we all fear losing, is the comfort of youth. there is freedom in the knowledge that you have time, whether its time to accomplish goals or become some better version of yourself.
as i approach the end of my third year of college, as premature as it might seem, i’ve found myself often anxious about what seems to be an inevitable process. for those of us fortunate enough to pursue higher education, i think college provides a sort of climax to the highlights of our youth, or at least thats what we are told. encompassing all of our free exploration and new experiences is the structure that provides an assurance of safety (and in some cases immunity).
we might not know how our next day will go but we can be assured that our lectures are still at the same time, we still have exams to prepare for, internships to apply to, parties to attend, and pre-scheduled vacations. leaving this behind as we prepare for “the real world”, i find my friends and i worrying about how we will do things that felt almost forced upon us just a few years ago as freshmen.
how will we make new friends? find community? pick up new hobbies and interests?
some of this concern is certainly valid, and perhaps this is the “inevitable” fall off. we have been blessed to be put into an environment where these things were easier, or at least more accessible, and by leaving it we certainly do face new challenges.
the ways we interact with others, the places we take up, and the way we see ourselves are certain to change.
what is equally true however, is that these things alone are not enough to validate the extent of our fears. i think, strangely enough, that we already know that. what is far scarier than losing control of that which is around you is losing control of yourself.
with the loss of structure, stability, and control that we experience during this time, perhaps we are simultaneously losing our grasp on intrinsic parts of ourselves that shaped and grew with our youth.
i think our fall off isn’t about just our looks changing or even the way people around us might think about who we are. its the internal changes we undergo as we cede our curiosity, lose faith in our capacity to grow and change, and succumb to the weight of the expectations we have been conditioned to believe come hand in hand with adulthood.